Rethinking Love—The What and the Who

Updated April 17, 2025

When we think of love—especially for our animal companions—we often picture the usual suspects:

The loyal dog, the purring cat curled on our lap, or the soft and gentle rabbit. Love shaped by what’s familiar. By form. But where is it written that form should define who—and how—we love?

Tommi is a Murray Grey calf. A baby bull with lashes long enough to brush the sky and eyes so big and brown they seem to plead with the world to be kind. He is the sweetest of sweet. But, alas, sweetness wasn’t enough to hold his mother’s love.

We don’t know why. And while the farming world would say she “rejected” him—as if that were all there was to it, as if her heartbreak or confusion or pain didn’t matter—maternal bonds, in all mammals, run deep. And when they break, it’s rarely simple. Stress. Illness. Trauma. We’re quick to judge what we do not pause to understand.

And so Tommi became motherless. But he was not luckless. Sanctuary found him.

That a one-week-old, motherless calf can adapt, trust, and begin again is perhaps our cue to do the same.

At first, his confusion and dehydration made him unsure. Tube feeds, he came to know well. Then he progressed to awkward sips from a strange green bottle. But eventually—he found his rhythm. And once he did, there was no stopping him. Except perhaps to try and nurse from our kneecaps or navels, convinced that milk might magically flow from anywhere kindness lives.

Fast forward to today, and we find a happy-go-lucky, curly-coated calf. Steady on his feet. Strong in his spirit. And he loves nothing more than to cheerily chew on the hair and hearts of those who care for him.

That a one-week-old, motherless calf can adapt, trust, and begin again is perhaps our cue to do the same. Maybe it’s time we unlearn the belief that love must look a certain way. That value must be proven. That compassion must be earned.

Because love—the real kind—the kind that sees eyelashes and vulnerability instead of species and use—isn’t about form. It’s about feeling. Connection. A willingness to show up for someone simply because they need you.

Tommi didn’t need to be a dog or a cat to be worthy. He just needed to be Tommi.

And in this world, aching for kindness, that’s more than enough.